


I Need To Get Home So We Can Be Us

by harrythe



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 04:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1102480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harrythe/pseuds/harrythe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"This Christmas, I’m on my way home just to get to you. Because I miss you so much, I walk through the door right on queue. Closer to you and the snowflake fall, a couple of babies and a crying call. I made it home so we can be us. Now baby it’s Christmas."</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Need To Get Home So We Can Be Us

**Author's Note:**

> This was inspired by Colton Haynes's new single "Baby It's Christmas", and a conversation with my best friend Ronie saying "Imagine Jackson singing this to Lydia because he misses her so much, and he just wants to get back with her, and yeah..." and we cried about it, and I told her I'd write a fic for it... so here it is...

He sits on his bed in his house in London, thinking. Snow is falling softly outside, the first snow he’s ever seen, a side effect of growing up in Beacon Hills, California; the land of no snow. It’s a few days before Christmas, and normally he can’t wait, but for the first time ever, he’s not looking forward to it. His mind and heart are in Beacon Hills, still with a spitfire red-head who he can’t seem to forget. He’s tried, his first few weeks spent working his way through various other females who are nothing like the one he left behind. It’s always there though, in the back of his head, an ache that never goes away. Lydia was his first love, the one person who loved him for who he was, flaws and all. The one person he was able to connect with, a real connection. The girl who saved him. 

He creeps over to his window, staring at the snow, wishing that Lydia could be here with him now. She’d love the snow, the snowflakes standing out against her red-hair. Her eyes would sparkle, as they stayed pressed together, trying to keep warm. He might even sing her the song he’s been working on since the first snow fell this season. It’s a secret talent of his, one he’s never been able to share with anyone. No one, except Lydia. He used to sing to her in the quiet moments right before they drifted off to sleep. He’d never composed anything before, always too closed off, even to himself to even allow the possibility of opening himself up.

Big Ben is chiming, signaling the late hour, but Jackson doesn’t feel sleepy at all. He slips out of his room, and pads down the hallway, before slipping on his jacket and shoes and sneaking out the door. 

The snow is still falling, covering the streets in white. London is quiet at this hour, so Jackson treads through the fresh snow, leaving a trail of footprints behind. He checks his phone, noticing that it’s still a decent time where he can call Lydia. He hovers over her name, debating. He knows he shouldn’t, he is after all, trying to forget, but it’s Christmas time, and he can’t help himself. He presses the send button, and puts it up to his ear. It only rings a few times before someone picks up.

“Hello?” Her soft voice floats across the ocean, making him feel more at home then he’s felt since he left her behind. 

“Hey, Lydia.”

“Jackson? Is it really you?”

“It’s me.” 

“You’ve got a lot of nerve calling me after all this time.” She sounds like she’s trying to be angry, but Jackson knows her. Knows that there is a hint of happiness seeping into her voice.

“I’m sorry, Lydia.”

“I loved you, Jackson, and then you just left.” Her anger grows slightly stronger, but there’s still happiness in her tone. 

“I know, and I know nothing I say will make it any better.” 

“Then why are you calling?”

“Because I wrote this for you?”

“Wrote what for me?”

“Here we are standing at the gate, and I don’t know where I’m going, all I know is that it ain’t with you.” Jackson sang softly, his voice barely a whisper, no louder than the crunch of snow beneath his feet. “My heart is beating out of my chest, and now those beautiful eyes are welling up with tears because our fears have come.”

Lydia sniffled a bit over the phone, but remained quiet. Jackson had only sang for her a few times, mostly right before she drifted off to sleep, his voice filling the comfort of his bedroom, enveloping the two of them in a cocoon.

“Even if the sky comes falling down, I know I’ll make it home to you somehow.” Jackson’s voice raised slightly, still quiet in the cold night air. “Cuz baby it’s Christmas, I’m trying so hard just to get to you. And girl I miss you so much, watching this old clock is what get’s me through. Closer to you and the snowflake fall, a couple of babies and a crying call. I need to get home so we can be us, cuz baby it’s Christmas. It’s Christmas.”

Jackson could tell Lydia was trying to hold back tears, could always tell, even when they were an ocean apart.

“Now I’m laying here closing my eyes. I can feel the rhythm of your heartbeat, locked in time here with mine tonight. And I can smell the scent of the pine and hear the laughing of our daughters, as they open up their presents for the first time. Cuz baby it’s Christmas, I’m trying so hard just to get to you. And girl I miss you so much, watching this old clock is what get’s me through. Closer to you and the snowflake fall, a couple of babies and a crying call. I need to get home so we can be us, cuz baby it’s bells ringing, church singing, making angels in the backyard. Slow dancing, romancing, snuggled up right next to the fire. Our love is much stronger than any distance we could know so, I’m coming home. My baby I’m coming home.”

Lydia didn’t even bother to hide her little sniffles, and Jackson’s voice dropped back down to it’s whisper. 

“This Christmas, I’m on my way home just to get to you. Because I miss you so much, I walk through the door right on queue. Closer to you and the snowflake fall, a couple of babies and a crying call. I made it home so we can be us. Now baby it’s Christmas. Now baby it’s Christmas. It’s Christmas.” He finished softly, silence descending across the phone line. 

“Jackson-” Lydia started, her voice breaking slightly.

“I meant every word, Lydia. Just say the word, and I’ll come home, because I miss you Lydia, and I can’t spend Christmas without you.”

Silence spills across the line, and the snow continues to fall down around him.

“I wish you could be here, Lydia. You’d love the snow.” He takes a deep breath. “I can’t do this.”

“Can’t do what?” Her voice finally reaches out to him. 

“Can’t spend one more minute without you. I need you Lydia, and I thought I could do this, could be without you, because maybe if I convinced myself that I didn’t need you, it wouldn’t hurt so much when you left me, because everyone leaves, Lydia. But I wasn’t able to do it, you’re everywhere. I haven’t felt comfortable since you left. Full moons are hell, because the only thing I can think about is how I’d swim across the ocean and then run across America to get to you. You’re my anchor Lydia; you keep me grounded. Fuck it, Lydia. I’m coming home.”

Silence once again spilled across the line at Jackson’s declaration, but he didn’t care. He was going home for Christmas, and nothing was going to stop him. He turned back towards his house, and started walking, marring the footprints he’d made earlier. 

“Jackson, there’s something you should know-” 

“Save it, Lydia.” He says gently, a smile spreading across his face. “You can tell me when I get home.”

“But Jackson-”

“Lydia, I swear, we’ll have plenty of time to talk. Just not now. I have to pack.” He hung up on her before she could protest further, as he carefully tip-toed to his bedroom. He grabbed his backpack and stuffed some random articles of clothing into them. He then grabbed other things he’d need like his phone charger, his laptop, and his Ipad, and stuffed them in as well. His hand hesitated over his box of condoms, but he grabbed them anyways, knowing he’d regret it if he didn’t. 

He then ran to his closet, digging out his fake passport, and i.d. that Danny had made him, knowing that he’d need to be over eighteen to get the ticket, and the spare cash he kept there, just in case. He stuffed those into his jacket pocket before tiptoeing back down to his kitchen. He grabbed a sheet of paper, and a pen, jotting a quick note to his parents, telling them where he was going. He then grabbed his keys and tiptoed out the door, locking it behind him. 

He trudged through a few streets, looking for a cab. He managed to hail one a few streets over, directing it to the airport, and then sat in silence the whole way. The cabbie began rambling something about the late hour, but Jackson didn’t pay any attention, much more focused on the fact that he was going home. 

The cab ride seemed to take forever, but eventually the pulled up to the airport, and Jackson hopped out, grabbing his backpack. He sprinted to the ticket counter, thankful for the fact that there was no line.

“I need a ticket to Oakland California.” He panted out. 

“Okay, let me just look something up.” She started typing something up on her computer, searching. “Okay, sir, I have a flight leaving in under two hours that has a short layover in Los Angeles.”

“Fine, that’s fine.” Jackson breathed out.

“Okay then sir, I’ll just need your passport, and some i.d., and your form of payment.”

Jackson handed them over, watching as the lady scrutinized the documents, praying Danny’s work had paid off. She didn’t seem to have any problem with it, and went on to get Jackson’s ticket. She handed them over, and Jackson grabbed them.

“Have a safe flight!” She called, and Jackson just waved his hand. He was one step closer to getting home. 

He breezed through security, thankful for the fact that there were barely any lines at this late hour, although his nose was bombarded with all the scents from people who had been through throughout the day. He looked for his departing gate, seating himself in a seat close to it. He pulled out his phone, and checked the time. He then scrolled through his contacts, and landed on Danny. He had no hesitation in pressing the send button. 

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Danny.” 

“Jackson?”

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing? Isn’t it after midnight there?”

“Yeah, but listen, that’s not important. Look, I’m in the airport.”

“Why are you in an airport?”

“Jeez Danny, and they call you the smart one. I’m in the airport because I’m coming home.”

“What? Does Lydia know?”

“Yeah. I just talked to her awhile ago.”

“And she has no problem with you coming home?”

“Of course not! Why would she?”

“Jackson-”

“Look Danny, this isn’t important. The point is, my flight lands in Oakland in about twenty hours, and I’d really appreciate it if you came and got me. My i.d. that you made may have gotten me through security, but I’m still not old enough to rent a car, and I don’t want to pay a cab company.”

Danny sighed wearily on the other end. “Fine. Oakland International, right?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Danny.”

“Yeah yeah, whatever. See you when you get here. Just remember Jackson, you’ve been gone for awhile, and Lydia wasn’t the only person you left behind.”

“Danny, I-”

“Save it for when you’re in the car with me.” Jackson heard the telltale click of the phone, noting Danny had hung up on him. 

He fiddled around with his bag as he waited, watching the arrival and departure gate. Tired travelers stumbled through, reaffirming the late hour. Their heartbeats were steady, a sense of relief permeating the air.

He dozed off a little, ears still tuned to the voice announcing flight information. He heard the boarding call for his flight, and he sat up, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. He blearily stood up, and stumbled over to the gate, handing the attendant his ticket, and stumbling through the terminal. He fumbled for his seat, quickly stowing his backpack in the overhead compartment. He quickly settled down into his seat, and buckled himself in, barely staying awake for the safety procedures and take-off. 

He didn’t wake up until he heard the pilot begin his descent instructions. He waited until almost everyone was off the plane before he grabbed his bag, and made his way to the terminal. He was lucky enough to have a short layover at LAX, which was already boarding by the time he made it to the terminal. He hopped in line, and made it to his seat, stowing his backpack up ahead. He quickly checked the phone in his pocket, noticing eight missed calls from his parents, before he turned it back off. He’d call them back when he was in Beacon Hills. 

The plane ride to the airport in Oakland was much shorter, and Jackson was awake for all of it, messing around on his Ipad, mucking around his music library, and messing around with a few apps. As soon as they landed, Jackson pulled out his phone and turned it back on. He had a few more missed calls from his parents, and a text from Danny, stating that he was at the airport waiting. Jackson didn’t linger this time, he made sure he got off the plane as quickly as he could. He strolled through the airport, not even stopping until he was past security, where Danny was sitting on one of the plastic chairs waiting, his heartbeat slightly elevated like he was anxious. Jackson made his way towards him, as Danny stood up to greet him.

“Hey, Jackson.” Danny greeted him, sticking out his hand. “Welcome back.” 

Jackson didn’t even bother grabbing his hand, he just pulled him forward into a hug. “It’s good to be back.” Jackson stated, his voice slightly muffled into Danny’s sweater, breathing in the scent of Armani, and home, and a scent he couldn’t identify. They broke apart after a few moments; Jackson surreptitiously straightened the strap on his backpack, hitching it a little higher. 

“Come on, man, let’s go home.” Danny said, leading him out of the airport. 

They made their way to Danny’s car, Jackson throwing his backpack into the trunk, before settling himself into the passenger seat. They didn’t speak until Danny hit the highway.

“So, what’s new?” Jackson could smell the scent of someone else in the car, another male, his scent permeating the air. 

“I have a new boyfriend.” Danny stated, a small smile in his voice.

“Oh really? What’s his name?”

“Ethan. He and his twin brother just moved here at the start of the year.”

“And his twin?”

“His name is Aiden.”

“Anything else happen that I should know about?”

“Scott and Allison broke up. She’s dating that kid from the lacrosse team, Lahey.”

Jackson didn’t see that one coming.

“And I’m pretty sure Stilinski is dating someone too.”

“Stilinski?”

“Yeah. He’s always hanging around the guy he introduced as his cousin Miguel. Pretty sure it’s not his cousin though considering the way he looks at him. I’m also sure his name is not Miguel.”

Well, that was interesting. Jackson didn’t realize Stilinski could bag someone as hot as Hale. 

“And Mr. Harris is dead.”

“What?” Jackson was shocked. 

“Yeah, he was found dead, tied up to a tree. He’s not the only one. A lot’s changed since you left.”

“What about Lydia?”

“I think it’s best if you talk to her.”

They sat in silence then, both preoccupied with their thoughts. It wasn’t until they were twenty minutes away from Beacon Hills that Danny reopened his mouth.

“So, where are you staying?”

“Hadn’t really thought about it. I mean, I was so focused on getting here in time for Christmas that I didn’t even stop and think.”

“Then you can stay with me.”

“Your parents won’t mind?”

“Are you kidding? They miss you, Jackson. It’s like I told you on the phone, Lydia’s not the only one you left behind.”

“I really am sorry, Danny. I just missed everything, more than I thought I would.”

“So you decided to shut everyone out. Figured that it would hurt less that way.”

Jackson nodded his head. It didn’t matter how much time passed, Danny was still his best friend. Danny still understood him better than anyone else. 

It was still light out when they entered Beacon Hills. Danny drove the familiar streets through town pulling into his own drive effortlessly. They both stepped out of the vehicle, Jackson staring up at the house he used to consider his second home. Danny grabbed Jackson’s backpack out of the trunk before walking to stand beside him. 

“Ready?” Danny asked, bumping Jackson’s shoulder.

Jackson grinned, walking up to the door. Danny opened it, and was greeted with a small chorus of ‘Hello’s from Danny’s family. His mom came in, almost falling down in shock of seeing Jackson standing in the doorway next to her son. 

“Hey, Mrs. M.” Jackson stated. 

“Jackson! You’re supposed to be in England!” 

Jackson grinned sheepishly. “I couldn’t stay away from home any longer. Especially at Christmas time.” 

Danny’s mom grinned softly at him. “Well, we’re glad to have you here.”

Jackson looked around the entryway and living area, and smiled a genuine smile. “It’s good to be here.”

The two made their way past Danny’s dad, who greeted Jackson warmly, and his younger sister, who wrapped Jackson up in a tight hug, up to Danny’s bedroom, where they dumped Jackson’s backpack.

“So, dinner should be in a few minutes. Did you want to go visit Lydia after?”

Jackson nodded his head, before the twosome headed back downstairs. 

Dinner was pretty lively, everyone asking Jackson about his time in England. He talked about the snow, really the only good thing about living in London, but he firmly answered that he’d rather be in Beacon Hills if given the choice. Danny’s family seemed surprised to hear that, figuring that he’d like the big city. After dinner, Danny’s mom and sister did the dishes while Jackson and Danny got ready to go to Lydia’s. 

The car ride to Lydia’s was pretty quiet; Jackson is silent anticipation, Danny a little more anxious. Luckily the car ride was short, and they were soon pulling into Lydia’s driveway. The house was decorated for Christmas, all lit up and pretty like a postcard. 

They had just stepped out of the car when Lydia opened the door. She had a surprised look on her face, staring at Jackson like she was seeing a ghost. His wolf let out a howl of joy, pleased at seeing Lydia, but also hurt at the scent of her grief reached him. Danny greeted her and stepped into the house, leaving Lydia and Jackson standing outside.

“Hey, Lydia.” He greeted, a sheepish smile on his face.

“You’re here.” She still looked at him in disbelief. Her heart was still beating quickly, pain coming off her in waves.

“I told you I would be.” 

“Jackson, I-”

“Wait. I’d like to say something first. Ever since I went to London, I’ve felt like a piece of me was missing, and now I’m here, and you’re here, and all of a sudden I feel like I’m whole. I need you Lydia. You’re a part of me, a part that I didn’t think I needed, but I do. I need you like I need air. I’ve tried to forget you, Lydia. I tried so hard. I tried sleeping with other people, hoping that it’d help me get over you, but I just can’t. You were my first love, Lydia, and I want you to be my last, because there’s just no getting over you. You’re my one-in-a-million.”

“I’m seeing somebody.” Lydia blurted out.

“What?” Jackson asked in disbelief.

“His name is Aiden. He’s Danny’s boyfriend’s twin.”

“Lydia, I-”

“You were gone, Jackson. You had left without a second glance. I didn’t think you were ever coming back. So I moved on. I found someone else.”

“So that’s it?”

“I can’t just get back with you because you showed up on my porch a few days before Christmas. It doesn’t work like that, Jackson.”

Jackson felt a wave of anger pass through him. “No.”

“No?”

“I refuse to believe that this is over between us. If you can look me in the eyes and tell me honestly that you feel nothing for me, I’ll leave. I’ll go back to London and that’ll be it.”

Pain flashed across Lydia’s face. “I can’t. And that sucks because I don’t want to still be in love with you, because now it’s going to hurt even more when you leave again.”

“What if I promised to stay?” Jackson knew that was probably a stupid thing to promise, especially since he hadn’t yet contacted his parents, but he couldn’t help it. He just needed him and Lydia to be okay again. 

“I’d tell you to not make promises you can’t keep.” She stated, her voice cracking a little. He could smell the salt from her tears, the ones she wasn’t going to let fall. 

“Lydia, I promise you, I will do everything in my power to not leave again.”

“This isn’t fair, Jackson. I’d moved on from you, I found someone else, someone I can be myself around, the way I wasn’t when I was with you, and now you come back and just expect to pick up where we left off, and I can’t.”

“Lydia, I love you.”

“And I love you, Jackson, but sometimes that’s not enough.”

Jackson took a step forward, almost unconsciously. “Lydia. Please.”

She shook her head, a tear forming in her eye. Grief was coming off her in waves, and Jackson’s wolf was howling, the urge to comfort and protect.

“Lydia.” He took another few steps forward, stopping when they were almost touching. He could smell her familiar scent, comforting, smelling like home.

She shook her head again, but it was half-hearted.

His eyes flicked to her lips, then back to her eyes. Her eyes closed, and Jackson closed the distance between them. A fire lit through him, reigniting everything he’d been trying to suppress for the last few months that he’d been gone. It ripped through him, a warmth that he could feel down in his toes. 

They stayed like that for a few minutes, pressed together before Lydia tore away from him, a look of horror on her face. 

“This doesn’t change anything.” She stated, Jackson catching the small blip in her heartbeat.

“You’re right.” He stated. “It changes everything.”

“We can’t happen, Jackson.”

“We can if you let us”

“I have a boyfriend.”

“Who isn’t me.”

“Exactly. I really like him, Jackson.”

“But you don’t love him.”

“I could.”

“But you don’t.”

“This isn’t fair Jackson.”

“When it comes to you, I will never fight fair.”

“So you just expect me to dump my boyfriend so we can get into a relationship that may or may not work out, especially considering our past, and you have a very small chance of staying in Beacon Hills. You can’t just sing me a song over the phone and show up on my doorstep, expecting everything to be okay. You keep trying to promise me the world Jackson, a world that may or may not include you in the future.”

“I’m here now, Lydia. It’s Christmas.”

“Christmas Miracles don’t exist.”

“Neither do werewolves, and yet here I am. I died, Lydia. I died, and you saved me. We’re destined for each other, Lydia.”

She took a deep sigh, her face flashing through a million emotions, before settling on acceptance. “I know.” She whispered resignedly, before sealing their lips together again.

When they broke apart, he only whispered one thing.

“Our love is much stronger than any distance we could know so, I’m coming home. My baby I’m coming home.”

“I love you too.” She whispered, the cool night air surrounding them, as they stayed wrapped in a bubble of love. Tomorrow might try to separate them, but they were here now, and it was Christmas time now, and Christmas was a time for miracles. A time for love.

**Author's Note:**

> Reviews make the world go round <3


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